Turf Wars
By
Janet Rasmusson Wherry
I’m only ten years old but I love to write and sometimes my imagination runs away with me.
I had the most amazing dream. I’ll try to explain it to you. I hope I can write it all down just as it happened.
The world is a waterfall of people. A dam is constructed at the top to hold water. Babies are born at the top. That’s where they belong. They have no fault in this.
Toward the middle, it gets confusing. People scramble up to the top, searching for lost innocence. Others are falling to the bottom where it’s dark and fiery. They complain bitterly about being lied to.
January 21, 2021 was the day of the Great Catastrophe. For some reason, water was released from the dam and it caused a big mudslide. The media was very excited by this and immediately reported all lives were lost beneath the mucky goo. Even mine. Mom read about our deaths in the evening news. Aunt Celia watched it on CNN. So sad. And scary. According to the reports, we were all lost under the mud.
But a miracle happened. A gentle rain came. And a rainbow blossomed above us, soft blues at the bottom and orange and reds at the top. The raindrops washed away the heaviest layer of mud and we began to push our way out to the surface.
I popped my head up and looked around. I could see everywhere, even to the oceans.
There was a volcanic island in the Pacific which was covered with people. They were all looking at me. I knew who they were from my current events class. They were the leaders of the great Democrat Party. The volcano was belching poisonous gases and there was a terrible smell of sulfur in the air. A report said winds were expected to carry the fumes all across America.
Some leaders from the volcano stepped onto a large Viking ship. The ship floated like magic towards the mainland. At the bow was the Speaker of the House. She called herself Kohra the Goddess. I don’t know why. She was all-powerful and the wind was whipping her hair with madness.
Meanwhile, people were slowly finding their way out of the muck.
“Bobby!”
My grandmother was calling to me. She loves me a lot. I’m only a kid but she talks to me as if I’m a grown up. She likes my Lego collection and I like her funny stories. She is proud of me for being the one who started my school newspaper. I like being a reporter. I told my grandmother that I was gathering information for the story of the aftermath of the slide.
“I don’t understand everything that’s going on but I’m going to write about it anyway,” I told her. “I’m just a reporter getting a scoop and it’s a complicated story, but I’ve been taking notes.”
“That’s fine, Bobby, I’m sure you’ll do a wonderful job.”
I showed her my notebook.
“I’ll read you what I’ve got,” I said. “Today is Monday, January 25, and we are finding survivors today after several days of darkness. I found myself this morning. I realized I was alive when I woke up before dawn. That gave me time to find my paper and my pencil. I am reporting the news from Santa Rosa, California where I live. Before writing I had to make sure my mother was alive. She is alive. I heard her singing with the angels. She isn’t an angel yet but she likes singing with them. She’s a great singer you know. I found my sister. She doesn’t know what happened either. All she knows is she was doing homework and all of a sudden there was darkness and she couldn’t breathe and we were all covered with a terrible ooze and couldn’t find each other. It was nightmarish. I was very afraid. But I’ve been in touch with my best friends by text and heard from them. Everything is going to be all right.”
“I love it,” she said.
“Here comes Kohra now,” I said to my grandmother.
Grandmawaved good-bye just as the Viking ship approached.
“Kohra, you want me to call you Kohra, right?” I said. “I’m glad to meet you. I see that you are one of the few survivors of this disaster. How did you avoid being swept up by the mudslide and buried?”
“Master Bobby,” she said, “It was good planning. It was months and months of good planning. I recommend being always prepared for any natural disaster. I have a new stimulus plan for the people. It’s my most expensive one yet. The funds will help all good Democrats, the homeless, felons and illegals. It pays for abortions and everything. It will bring trillions of dollars into the government coffers. Just remember us in the next election. We’ll figure out a way you can vote. Can you vote yet? How old are you? Never mind. We’ll work it out.”
“I heard from the upper angels that someone opened the dam, that this may have been on purpose,” I said. “So, that’s not true?”
“Of course not, I would never do that. And none of my groupies would either.” She looked away briefly and then back at me. “Remember we are bringing you free education in the public schools. Be sure to use the Internet for your assignments. And cell phones and video games.”
She started to leave but wanted to tell me one last thing. “One more thing. I think the republicans did it. They aren’t to be trusted you know. They are racists and homophobes and deplorables and white supremacists. They don’t believe in global warming. You know the list. It’s too long to go into. All right. I have to go.”
“Thank you for your comments,” I said.
I watched the Speaker of the House as she floated away.
How is she doing that, I wondered? What makes their ship float like that over everyone?
“Bobby!”
A tall older man was waving at me, desperately trying to get my attention.
“Bobby.”
I was incredulous. It was my grandfather. It had to be him. It couldn’t be anyone else. But – but – grandpa was dead. How can this be?
My grandfather made his way over the muck to me.
“But – How is it that you can be here?” I asked.
“I’m an undecided,” he said. “No one knows what to do with me yet. At least that’s what I think is going on because I haven’t gone anywhere since they scattered my ashes at Devil’s Slide. I’m waiting. But I find this whole operation you’ve got here fascinating.”
“What do you mean?”
“The physics of it is intriguing,” he said. “I’ve been studying it since I got here. Do you know the whole thing is gravity-fed? It’s very simple, but ingenious. The angels and newborns are at the top and the regular people are just below them. The liars are at the bottom and the ones they lied to are in the middle. Some are struggling with addiction and mental illness, as you know. Others are keeping busy not to try to think about it. Some are trying hard to figure it all out so they can make sound decisions. Everybody’s different.”
“What’s that dark red further on?” I asked.
“That’s going toward Hell. You have Heaven up here, with the newborns next,” he said, making sweeping gestures with his arms, “Then life itself with all its ins and outs, then the doldrums where the undecided are and then Hell. I believe there are different levels of Hell. Some souls are more lost than others.”
“But Grandpa, you told us you don’t believe in God.”
“Did I say anything about God? I’m just looking at the physics. It’s an amazing plan. Gravity carries us through Time just like we suspected!”
“It’s great to see you Grandpa, but I have a question, just to clarify. You said some people have a choice which way to go, up or down?”
“Yes, but it’s much harder to go up than down. A great deal of energy must be expended to move up this waterfall. It’s very easy to go down. It’s all about the Laws of Thermodynamics.”
Grandpa was looking around.
“Have you seen Guericke or Carnot? Or anyone who understands what’s happening? I don’t know why the water doesn’t put the fires of Hell out. I need to ask.”
“No, Grandpa, I haven’t.” I watched as my grandfather hurried away. He was so excited about all this.
I spotted a glint of gold. Not wanting to miss a good interview, I walked over to the ex-president to ask him a few questions. He was brushing off the muck and cursing the swamp. He even had goo on his orange hair and his cheek. He was a bit unhappy about it.
“Sir,” I said, “Would you like to say a few words to the people?”
“Yes, thank you,” he said, continuing to brush himself off. “I’ve been attacked. We’ve been attacked. I can’t say who did it but, I’m telling you it was done. We are digging ourselves out. Digging out. We will return, never doubt that. We will return stronger than before.”
“So, you believe this was not an accident. Or act of God?”
“God doesn’t pull the plug on His people. This was not an act of God. Not an act of God.”
He straightened his bright red tie and flicked a clump of crud to the ground.
“Just remember, young man, God is still in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. It’s on our money. It’s on the Pledge. God is everywhere.”
“Did God make the waterfall?” I asked.
“I’m sure he did. He is all powerful. America is God’s country after all. It’s the promised land. The promised land. And the Republican Party represents all good, God-fearing people. Not like the other party which has turned its back on God.”
I was jotting it all as quickly as I could.
“And one more thing,” he said, “It may look like we lost but we won.”
“Mr. ex-president, you say you won. Just exactly what does that mean? A new president is in the White House.”
“Loss is an illusion created by the Left. We’ve already one. We just have to get the word out, passed those that would sensor us. We’re still counting votes. By the time we are done, we’ll have 65%. This is a War of Information.”
“Will you run again in 2024?”
“I’ll decide on that when the time comes. We will make America great again. It will be great.”
After Mr. Trump left, I ran to my mother. “I just talked to the ex-president and the Speaker of the House,” Bobby said. “I interviewed them. And I saw grandpapa.”
“Bobby, wake up,” my mother was saying to me. “You’re dreaming.”
I rubbed my eyes.
“Mom, Mom, I just had the most amazing dream. You were an angel and you were singing in Heaven and all the angels were looking down at us and watching. I wrote it all down in an interview. It was amazing.”
“All right dear,” she said, tucking me in.
“The Speaker of the House calls herself Kohra the Goddess. I don’t know why. She said most of her followers are near the bottom. She says it doesn’t matter so long as they vote. It’s a lot to understand, but I took notes. And I have more questions for Grandpa. I wanted to know how Kohra’s Viking ship floated over America.”
“Your Grandpa?”
“No wait. You’re right. I can’t ask Grandpa.”
I felt bad. I shouldn’t have said that about grandpa. Mom misses him so much. I didn’t want to make her sad.
“Go back to sleep, Bobby. I’ll turn out the light.”
“All right, Mom, I want to see what happens next.” I turned over and nestled into my bed. “I’ll let you know.”
She smoothed down my hair and sang me a lullaby. Soon I was fast asleep.
I’m only ten years old but I love to write and sometimes my imagination runs away with me.
I had the most amazing dream. I’ll try to explain it to you. I hope I can write it all down just as it happened.
The world is a waterfall of people. A dam is constructed at the top to hold water. Babies are born at the top. That’s where they belong. They have no fault in this.
Toward the middle, it gets confusing. People scramble up to the top, searching for lost innocence. Others are falling to the bottom where it’s dark and fiery.
January 21, 2021 was the day of the Great Catastrophe. For some reason, water was released from the dam and it caused a big mudslide. The media was very excited by this and immediately reported all lives were lost beneath the mucky goo. Even mine. Mom read about our deaths in the evening news. Aunt Celia watched it on CNN. So sad. And scary. According to the reports, we were all lost under the mud.
But a miracle happened. A gentle rain came. And a rainbow blossomed above us, soft blues at the bottom and orange and reds at the top. The raindrops washed away the heaviest layer of mud and we began to push our way out to the surface.
I popped my head up and looked around. I could see everywhere, even to the oceans.
There was a volcanic island in the Pacific which was covered with people. They were all looking at me. I knew who they were from my current events class. They were the leaders of the great Democrat Party. The volcano was belching poisonous gases and there was a terrible smell of sulfur in the air. A report said winds were expected to carry the fumes all across America.
Some leaders from the volcano stepped onto a large Viking ship. The ship floated like magic towards the mainland. At the bow was the Speaker of the House. She called herself Kohra the Goddess. I don’t know why. She was all-powerful and the wind was whipping her hair with madness.
Meanwhile, people were slowly finding their way out of the muck.
“Bobby!”
My grandmother was calling to me. She loves me a lot. I’m only a kid but she talks to me as if I’m a grown up. She likes my Lego collection and I like her funny stories. She is proud of me for being the one who started my school newspaper. I like being a reporter. I told my grandmother that I was gathering information for the story of the aftermath of the slide.
“I don’t understand everything that’s going on but I’m going to write about it anyway,” I told her. “I’m just a reporter getting a scoop and it’s a complicated story, but I’ve been taking notes.”
“That’s fine, Bobby, you’ll do a wonderful job.”
I showed her my notebook.
“I’ll read you what I’ve got,” I said. “Today is Monday, January 25, and we are finding survivors today after several days of darkness. I found myself this morning. I realized I was alive when I woke up before dawn. That gave me time to find my paper and my pencil. I am reporting the news from Santa Rosa, California where I live. Before writing I had to make sure my mother was alive. She is alive. I heard her singing with the angels. She isn’t an angel yet but she likes singing with them. She’s a great singer you know. I found my sister. She doesn’t know what happened either. All she knows is she was doing homework and all of a sudden there was darkness and she couldn’t breathe and we were all covered with a terrible ooze and couldn’t find each other. It was nightmarish. I was very afraid. I’ve been in touch with my best friends by text and heard from them. Everything is going to be all right.”
“I love it,” she said.
“Here comes Kohra now.”
My grandmother waved good-bye just as the Viking ship approached.
“Kohra, you want me to call you Kohra, right?” I said. “I’m glad to meet you. I see that you are one of the few survivors of this disaster. How did you avoid being swept up by the mudslide and buried?”
“Master Bobby,” she said, “Good planning. It was months and months of good planning. I recommend being always prepared for any natural disaster. I have a new stimulus plan for the people. It’s my most expensive one yet. The funds will help all good Democrats, the homeless, felons and illegals. It pays for abortions and everything. It will bring trillions of dollars into the government coffers. Just remember us in the next election. We’ll figure out a way you can vote. Can you vote yet? How old are you? Never mind. We’ll work it out.”
“I heard from the upper angels that someone opened the dam, that this may have been on purpose,” I said. “So, that’s not true?”
“Of course not, I would never do that. And none of my groupies would either. Remember we are bringing you free education in the public schools. Be sure to use the Internet for your assignments. And cell phones and video games.”
She started to leave but wanted to tell me one last thing. “One more thing. I think the republicans did it. They aren’t to be trusted you know. They are racists and homophobes and deplorables and white supremacists. They don’t believe in global warming. You know the list. It’s too long to go into. All right. I have to go.”
“Thank you for your comments,” I said.
I watched the Speaker of the House as she floated away.
How is she doing that, I wondered? What makes their ship float like that over everyone?
“Bobby!”
A tall older man was waving at me, desperately trying to get my attention.
“Bobby.”
I was incredulous. It was my grandfather. It had to be him. It couldn’t be anyone else. But – but – grandpa was dead. How can this be?
My grandfather made his way over the muck to me.
“But – How is it that you can be here?” I asked.
“I’m an undecided,” he said. “No one knows what to do with me yet. At least that’s what I think is going on because I haven’t gone anywhere since they scattered my ashes at Devil’s Slide. I’m waiting. But I find this whole operation you’ve got here fascinating.”
“What do you mean?”
“The physics of it is intriguing,” he said. “I’ve been studying it since I got here. Do you know the whole thing is gravity-fed? It’s very simple, but ingenious. The angels and newborns are at the top and the regular people are just below them. The liars are at the bottom and the ones they lied to are in the middle. Some are struggling with addiction and mental illness, as you know. Others are keeping busy not to try to think about it. Some are trying hard to figure it all out so they can make sound decisions. Everybody’s different.”
“What’s that dark red further on?” I asked.
“That’s going toward Hell. You have Heaven up here, with the newborns next,” he said, making sweeping gestures with his arms, “Then life itself with all its ins and outs, then the doldrums where the undecided are and then Hell. I believe there are different levels of Hell. Some souls are more lost than others.”
“But Grandpa, you told us you don’t believe in God.”
“Did I say anything about God? I’m just looking at the physics. It’s an amazing plan. Gravity carries us through Time just like we suspected!”
“It’s great to see you Grandpa, but I have a question, just to clarify. You said some people have a choice which way to go, up or down?”
“Yes, but it’s much harder to go up than down. A great deal of energy must be expended to move up this waterfall. It’s very easy to go down. It’s all about the Laws of Thermodynamics.”
Grandpa was looking around.
“Have you seen Guericke or Carnot? Or anyone who understands what’s happening? I don’t know why the water doesn’t put the fires of Hell out. I need to ask.”
“No, Grandpa, I haven’t.” I watched as my grandfather hurried away. He was so excited about all this.
I spotted a glint of gold. Not wanting to miss a good interview, I walked over to the ex-president to ask him a few questions. He was brushing off the muck and cursing the swamp. He even had goo on his orange hair and his cheek. He was a bit unhappy about it.
“Sir,” I said, “Would you like to say a few words to the people?”
“Yes, thank you,” he said, continuing to brush himself off. “I’ve been attacked. We’ve been attacked. I can’t say who did it but, I’m telling you it was done. We are digging ourselves out. Digging out. We will return, never doubt that. We will return stronger than before.”
“So, you believe this was not an accident. Or act of God?”
“God doesn’t pull the plug on His people. This was not an act of God. Not an act of God.”
He straightened his bright red tie and flicked a clump of crud to the ground.
“Just remember, young man, God is still in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. It’s on our money. It’s on the Pledge. God is everywhere.”
“Did God make the waterfall?” I asked.
“I’m sure he did. He is all powerful. America is God’s country after all. It’s the promised land. The promised land. It may look like we lost but we won.”
“Mr. ex-president, you say you won. Just exactly what does that mean? A new president is in the White House.”
“Loss is an illusion created by the Left. We’ve already one. We just have to get the word out, passed Zuckerberg somehow, and the others. Many others. We’re still counting votes. By the time we are done, we’ll have 65%. This is a War of Information.”
“Will you run again in 2024?”
“I’ll decide on that when the time comes. We will make America great again. It will be great.”
After Mr. Trump left, I ran to my mother. “I just talked to the president and the speaker of the house,” Bobby said. “I interviewed them. And I saw grandpapa.”
“Bobby, wake up,” my mother was saying to me. “You’re dreaming.”
I rubbed my eyes.
“Mom, Mom, I just had the most amazing dream. You were an angel and you were singing in Heaven and all the angels were looking down at us and watching. I wrote it all down in an interview. It was amazing.”
“All right dear,” she said, tucking me in.
“The Speaker of the House calls herself Kohra the Goddess. I don’t know why. She said most of her followers are near the bottom. She says it doesn’t matter so long as they vote. It’s a lot to understand, but I took notes. And I have more questions for Grandpa. I wanted to know how Kohra’s Viking ship floated over America.”
“Your Grandpa?”
“No wait. You’re right. I can’t ask Grandpa.”
I felt bad. I shouldn’t have said that about grandpa. Mom misses him so much. I didn’t want to make her sad.
“Go back to sleep, Bobby. I’ll turn out the light.”
“All right, Mom, I want to see what happens next.” I turned over and nestled into my bed. “I’ll let you know.”
She smoothed down my hair and sang me a lullaby. Soon I was fast asleep.
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